Scott Storch is having some financial problems. Although reportedly worth $70 million in 2006, by August of this year, he only had $17 million. Quite the loss, Scotty.
But I don't really care about his money. What I do care about is making sure that he never takes those sunglasses off. Now, I'm not sure why Scott started wearing those glasses, but I'm eternally thankful that he does. Can you imagine that face without them? While I usually find sunglasses in the club, on the street at night, or anywhere else inappropriate like say, dinner, highly offensive, Scott gets a lifetime pass.
But let's move on the the money. Something about Scott just screams "cokehead" to me, and being that he hangs around people like Linsday Lohan and Lil' Wayne, I don't doubt that most of the money he lost went up his nose. Probably that and some negrodian spending characteristics, not to mentioning paying for all the women he dates (because I'm pretty sure he has to pay them-- again, look at that face). I know how to spend money, but even I would have trouble going through $53 million that fast.
Which leads me to my main point. We've got to keep an eye on Scott's cash. Don't worry, I'll take the lead. If his assets dwindle to less than $5 million, I'm starting the Scott Storch Sunglasses Fund, and will do my best to make it tax deductible. Because Michael Jackson already gives me enough nightmares. I don't need to lose any sleep after seeing Scott Storch's full frontal facial nudity.
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