What's wrong with Pepa?

It saddens me to once again have to question the current state of a fallen legend. Oh Pepa, why dost thou act a fool?

Salt and Pepa have a reality show on VH1. Not quite sure why, but hey, its not blaxploitation like Flavor of Love, I Love New York, Nelly’s search for Miss Apple Bottoms or The Life and times of a Video Vixen, so I’ll take it. Salt seems well adjusted to life post prior-millennium stardom. She has a house, a husband, some kids, a nice, grown-up hairstyle, appropriate décor, and seemingly no interest in pretending like she’s still 25. Most importantly, she has no visible plastic surgery, no twisted face, and no denial.

Pepa, on the other hand, has all of the above. I can’t watch their reality show, not only because it doesn’t hold my attention, but because I can’t handle when Pepa faces the camera full-on. Though she admits nothing, either Pepa had some work done on her face or I’m going to burn in hell, because she has some sort of disease. In the event that the latter is true, I’ll focus on the more obvious choices that Pepa makes that make her problematic. Pepa dresses like a 19 year-old with an unlimited Rave credit card. Sure, she may be proud of her body, but its time to grow up. I don’t wear the things I used to when I was 17, and I sincerely hope I don’t revert in 20 years and start hitting up Forever 21 and showing my midriff.

Her attire isn’t the only thing that worries me about good ole Pep’. In general, she seems to have trouble dealing with the fact that shes 42. While Salt has a nice suburban abode, Pepa clearly Coach-bagged her way to the middle class, and doesn’t seem to have much to show for the money she’s made. Additionally, she’s always trying to stay in the club ‘till like 5 am, long after Salt has gone home (to her grown up life), claiming that she’ll be in the studio on time, but in true unprofessional fashion, doesn’t make it. She argues with Spinderella, talking down to her, and telling her that she’s not a true part of the group. I won’t talk about the fact that there is no longer a group, but you know, when you hold on like that, you fail to realize these things.


Get it together, Pepa. You’re 42! FORTY TWO! You’ve been alive 4 decades and change! People, if I ever act/look/dress/live like Pepa at 42, just kill me. I’ll forgive you.