Coffee will make you Black!

So I happen to live in a gentrified area of Harlem. As in, when I moved in, things were nice and brown, and there is more cream in my coffee everyday. Suffice it to say that I like my coffee black, but I'll move on.

Anywhoo, the Rite Aid below my building came after the cream did, since you know, black coffee doesn't need conveniences like pharmacies and UPS stores. Nope, black coffee just needs bodegas and check cashing spots. Oh yeah, and little stalls to buy phone cards, white tees and weaves. Right. Back to the point. So I grew up in the 'burbs, and I know how things are supposed to go in drugstores.

In drugstores, everything except the stuff behind the register is self-serve. Candy, batteries, toasters, razors, apple juice. Not so in my oppressive, caught-in-the-midst of the "new Harlem Renaissance" Rite Aid. Not only do you have to step over the big blue bins of product that block just about anything you could possibly want, you also have to go ask the clerks if you want some of the simplest things. One time, I needed a charger for my cell phone. A cheap, $20 universal charger. I found it, right up front, and tried to take it off the rack, but it was stuck. Confused, I asked the cashier what was wrong. "Oh, you need the magnetic key for that". Ummm, okay. So now cell phone chargers are akin to loud leather jackets in City Blue stores in hood malls? You're really going to tie them down so I don't steal them?

Maybe. I let that slide. I've seen crackheads selling phone chargers before, so maybe they have a point. But then today, I needed a personal trimmer to keep my sideburns under control. Quick trip to the Rite Aid downstairs, right? Not when there is still some black coffee in the cup. Nope. You know black coffee likes that five-finger discount. Once there is enough cream in the coffee, maybe everything will be self-serve. But for now, one can only purchase a $10 personal trimmer by finding a listless employee to remove it for you. And I highly doubt that there is a black market for personal trimmers .