Alcoholics Anonymous

This morning, CNN ran a bit on George Bush speaking about addiction, and the power of faith the help heal them. I won't comment on the fact that faith hasn't helped his ultra-conservative republican buddies curb their addiction to gay escorts, but lets move on. Though I'm pretty bummed about Georgie being president all these years, his term will lend itself to numerous quote books after all the ridiculousness is said and done. That is, if Americans are still reading by the end of this year. Let us pray.

Anyway, George was addressing some group of addicts, and said the following: "I used to have a drinking problem. Once upon a time, I drank too much". Well, George, thanks for the clarification, but we didn't really need it. Generally drinking too much is what people mean when they say they have a drinking problem. Usually its not that they have trouble swallowing, or a hole in their throat or anything. I would like some clarification on one point though.

Georgie says he used to have a drinking problem. Perhaps he meant when he was in college, just a wee little rich Bush frat boy who enjoyed keg stands and joints. Or maybe he meant in high school, when he was that rich kid who took it way to far, far too soon. I know that type well. We would be like 17, and here would come Jon, whose dad ran Company X and lived in an 8-bedroom house in the hills. Jon would be high on pretty much any drug available to mankind, and would wash it all down with as many beers as possible. Jon is generally the kid who ended up in a minimum-security prison after causing some sort of drunken driving accident.

But I happen to think that Bush's problem may have began far before any of us think: in the womb. I really can't think of any other explanation for his genius. Think about it . . . mama Bush threw back a few too many glasses of wine while preggers with baby G, and thus gave America the monkey we call the President.